...but I'm pretty pessimistic. So we'll see how that works out. My main concern is the fact that I'm watching my life expectancy get smaller and smaller as I get older and older and still nothing has happened for me. Now when I say that nothing has happened for me, I guess I should make sure that you know what I'm talking about. I want to be a performer. I want to be on stage, and I mean like ALL the time. I feel so much more alive when singing for people, and the more the merrier. So why shouldn't I dream of auditioning for American Idol and following in the steps of Kelly Clarkson and Jordin Sparks--two of the most amazing females in the world might I add--if I want to? I should be able to dream big, right? Granted they had parents that were behind them 100%, no doubts in their head or anything. Parents that were willing to drop everything that they were doing just so that their child could chase their dreams but hey, I guess their parents weren't exactly in the same finacial situtation as we are. Jordin's dad is a football player isn't he? Yeah... my dad, is pretty much dead to me, and my mother is working three jobs... so much for that dream big. But maybe I'll pull a Chris Brown and get discovered singing while pumping gas into my car--that is how he got discovered right? Actually, maybe following in Chris Brown's foot steps isn't such a good idea... I mean, we all see where he is right now. I guess that makes me pro Rihanna. Anyways, I digress, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to make it, but I don't have the faintest idea where to start and it is driving me CRAZYYYY! I cannot stand seeing new people put on TV and it kills me that much more when they have no talent whatsoever, and they're clearly doing something that I KNOW I can do. Children who are thirteen years old and already in the recording studio making demos for their pink fluffy MySpace pages. Sorry Keely Marshall, you're cute and everything but I'm really not really feeling you... See! I think things like that! Why do I say things like that? She's like ten and I'm bad mouthing her! I know it's all out of jealousy too. Yes, I, Gabrielle Hanson-Moore, am jealous of a thirteen year old with a big smile and pigtales and a single on itunes called "Dreams Come True" (PLUGGED). I want to be pictured in Popstar Magazine, I want to be interviewed, I want a Radio Disney widget telling people to request my song for the station! I guess I'm going to have to accept the inevitable and finally realize that that is probably never going to happen. But one day, and I'm knocking on wood not to jinx myself, I will make it. Hopefully, maybe... fingers crossed.
It's like ALL TIME LOW said:
"Maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year.
I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass, as I go nowhere.
...and this is my reaction, to everything I fear.
'cause I've been going crazy, I don't wanna waste another minute here."
